Conditional representation stability, classification of $*$-homomorphisms, and relative eta invariants

A quasi-representation of a group is a map from the group into a matrix algebra (or similar object) that approximately satisfies the relations needed to be a representation. Work of many people starting with Kazhdan and Voiculescu, and recently advanced by Dadarlat, Eilers-Shulman-S\o{}rensen and others, has shown that there are topological obstructions to approximating unitary quasi-representations of groups by honest representations, where `approximation' is understood to be with respect to the operator norm. The purpose of this paper is to explore whether approximation is possible if the known obstructions vanish, partially generalizing work of Gong-Lin and Eilers-Loring-Pedersen for the free abelian group of rank two, and the Klein bottle group. We show that this is possible, at least in a weak sense, for some `low-dimensional' groups including fundamental groups of closed surfaces, certain Baumslag-Solitar groups, free-by-cyclic groups, and many fundamental groups of three manifolds. The techniques used in the paper are $K$-theoretic: they have their origin in Baum-Connes-Kasparov type assembly maps, and in the Elliott program to classify $C^*$-algebras; Kasparov's bivariant KK-theory is a crucial tool. The key new technical ingredients are: a stable uniqueness theorem in the sense of Dadarlat-Eilers and Lin that works for non-exact $C^*$-algebras; and an analysis of maps on $K$-theory with finite coefficients in terms of the relative eta invariants of Atiyah-Patodi-Singer. Despite the proofs going through $K$-theoretic machinery, the main theorems can be stated in elementary terms that do not need any $K$-theory.