Avoiding Death by Vacuum

The two-Higgs doublet model (2HDM) can have two electroweak breaking, CP-conserving, minima. The possibility arises that the minimum which corresponds to the known elementary particle spectrum is metastable, a possibility we call the "panic vacuum". We present analytical bounds on the parameters of the softly broken Peccei-Quinn 2HDM which are necessary and sufficient conditions to avoid this possibility. We also show that, for this particular model, the current LHC data already tell us that we are necessarily in the global minimum of the theory, regardless of any cosmological considerations about the lifetime of the false vacua.