Why a Scalar Explanation of the L3 Events is Implausible

We investigate the question of whether an additional light neutral scalar can explain the $l^+ l^- \gamma \gamma$ events with high invariant mass photon pairs recently observed by the L3 collaboration. We parameterize the low energy effects of the unknown dynamics in terms of higher dimensional effective operators. We show that operators which allow for the scalar to be produced and decay into photon pairs will allow other observable processes that should have been seen in current experiments.