What's for Lunch? A systematic ordering of foods in the Soup-Salad-Sandwich phase space

The statistical physics of phase transitions has been hugely successful at describing numerous natural, physical, and technological phenomena, and now a rigorous examination of the phase space of the culinary regime is likewise ripe for the picking. Despite great demand for the resolution of many scientific debates over the taxonomy of food, past attempts have failed to account for complex phase behavior and co-existence, and have thus left the public hungry for a more substantial theory. By applying the principles of statistical physics and thermodynamics, we here map out the complete phase space of all culinary dishes and find three distinct phase regimes: Soup, Salad, and Sandwich. We consider the effect of different state variables on these phase boundaries, as well as regions of co-existence and triple points. With this complete 3-dimensional phase diagram of all foods, we can conclusively answer many bitter debates, including the imperishable question "is a hotdog a sandwich?" The answer: yes.