Is Quantum Mechanics An Island In Theoryspace?

This recreational paper investigates what happens if we change quantum mechanics in several ways. The main results are as follows. First, if we replace the 2-norm by some other p-norm, then there are no nontrivial norm-preserving linear maps. Second, if we relax the demand that norm be preserved, we end up with a theory that allows rapid solution of PP-complete problems (as well as superluminal signalling). And third, if we restrict amplitudes to be real, we run into a difficulty much simpler than the usual one based on parameter-counting of mixed states.