The myth of the down converted photon

Parametric down conversion (PDC) is widely interpreted in terms of photons, but, even among supporters of this interpretation, many properties of the photon pairs have been described as "mind-boggling" and even "absurd". In this article we argue that a classical description of the light field, taking account of its vacuum fluctuations, leads us to a consistent and rational account of all PDC phenomena. "Nonlocality" in quantum optics is simply an artifact of the Photon Concept. We also predict a new phenomenon, namely the appearance of a second, or satellite PDC rainbow.