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Van der Waals (vdW) materials are becoming increasingly popular in scientific and industrial applications because of their unique mixture of record electronic, optical, and mechanical properties. However, nanostructuring of vdW materials is still in its infancy and strongly depends on the specific vdW crystal. As a result, the universal self-assembled technology of vdW materials nanostructuring opens vast technological prospects. This work demonstrates an express and universal synthesis method of vdW nanoparticles with well-defined geometry using femtosecond laser ablation and fragmentation. The disarming simplicity of the technique allows us to create nanoparticles from over 50 vdW precursor materials covering transition metal chalcogenides, MXenes, and other vdW materials. Obtained nanoparticles manifest perfectly defined crystalline structures and diverse shapes, from nanospheres to nanocubes and nanotetrahedrons. Thus, our work provides a new paradigm for vdW nanostructuring with a vast potential of tunability for size, shape, and materials specific to the particular application.